Praise versus encouragement … 

Everybody needs to hear a good, positive word every once and a while. What is the best way to pay a compliment or encourage a child?

 

It's easy to use common phrases like: "Good job!" or "Looking good!". At least, the recipient of your words, will have the satisfaction of knowing that their efforts haven't been in vain. Doesn't it feel good to know that somebody notices? You may not know exactly what you did right, but, who doesn't like receiving a word of praise?

Praise is good, but sometimes a little more is better. Like if, you were to catch your child doing homework and notice that their normally messy paper is neater than usual. Even a little bit counts. Comment. Comment on the thing that they are doing right.

 

You see, saying, "Good job!" will make them smile, but saying, "Look what you just did!" (That will get their attention.) "You just made all of your letters stand up straight and tall. I always knew that you were capable of making those letters stand up straight and tall! Your teacher will really like this one!" 

Then just walk away and leave them to their moment of glory. Like it's no big deal. But it was for them! Call their teacher and explain what just happened at home. Perhaps she could be on the "look out" for a similar moment where she can also express her approval.. Working together in relationship with our kid's teachers is helpful. 

So, what is it that you just accomplished that was beneficial to your child? You not only lifted their spirits and made them feel special, which is important, but you also told them what they were doing right. Now, they know what pleases you and they really do like to please.

Chances are, anybody else in the room that heard you voice your approval over (brother/sister's) skills, will start thinking. You can find ways of encouraging them too. They tend to be competitive. They will be strengthened in their own tasks and challenged by the comments you made to the others.

It's ok to point out that everybody excels in different ways. We cannot all be THE BEST at everything. What's important is that we give each task, OUR BEST efforts. That is what matters. And when we as parents tell them what they are doing right, we give our children a blue print for success. This is true encouragement.

What is a trap? A trap is a hidden obstruction where bait has been placed to unknowingly catch and then forcefully bring us in. A place we would probably not want to be if we were committed to doing some serious research. If we were actually as open to the whole truth as we claim to be.

In America, we are allowed to choose our traps. This way, we have a slight sense of control over what we choose to entrap us. We only get irked when we are trapped without our own proper consent. 

We can avoid traps though. Sure, it's a little harder for you to do your own homework and keep an open mind.  It's even harder to know who really is speaking the truth.  Too many people are just wanting to agitate you and bring you on board to their way of thinking.  So many want to manipulate you. They find an interest and play on that.  Just like, you probably wouldn't put liver in a mouse trap, neither would they present you with something you have no desire for.  

 

Giving others the benefit of the doubt or the same rights that you demand for yourself seems somewhat reasonable.  We all desire respect and want the right to think for ourselves.  Some, however, are chronic takers and controllers.  While they carefully guard their own freedoms, they have no problem withholding the same, from others.

Assuming something just because it appears possible or, "scratches an itch," somewhere inside you is ignorance, plain and simple.  An assumption is the opposite of truth and nothing more than a glorified guess. Who wouldn't demand or expect proof in the face of accusations? Don't expect for yourself what you are not willing to give others.

We sabatoge ourselves often.  A mountain built out of a mole hill becomes a destructive speed bump to its builder and others around.  A deadly, uncontrollable fire begins with one seemingly insignificant spark.  A careless thought. The rudder of a huge ship looks so small but that same part, misdirected or ignored can cause untold damage.   Individual restraint and responsibility are always needed.  We must not only demand it from others but also expect it from ourselves.

 

Traps are everywhere during a political season. Don't fall into them and don't set them for others. Make sure you are well informed and do not assume that everything you hear and like is going to be true. What you don't know, or don't want to know … can make all the difference in the world. If we really care about others as much as we say, then we will prove it by not expecting more out of them than we are willing to give, ourselves.

There's a new group rising in the midst of this political era:  CSUA, which is short for "CLOSET SKELETONS UNITED FOR ANONYMONINITY". 

These unfortunate souls are literally being dragged out, against their will ... kicking and screaming. According to one skeleton who wishes to remain anonymous: "We are terribly embarrassed by these scandalous people and simply wish to be left in the closet where  we are safe …"

"Down in the Basement Digging Holes".

 I heard that statement for the very first time from Barry McGuire, one of my favorite musicians from many years back. He was giving his testimony and that is how he described the place he had come out from. It just seemed to describe so well certain phases in my life. The thought of it kind of made me laugh even though discouragement isn't funny.

There's really nothing wrong with basements. They are useful for family rooms, game rooms, get a ways and hiding out in the case of tornados. So, it can't be that basements are necessarily bad. I guess that it means, unless you are involved with a remodeling job or putting in a tri-level … digging holes down there is not advised. Well, where should we be digging holes then?

It sort of depends on why you are digging holes to begin with. Are you trying to find something, like hidden treasure? Are you … trying to hide something you don't want to come to light? Don't be surprised if you open a closet door and a skeleton jumps out, don't be alarmed. Just make peace with it. But digging holes down there doesn't do much good. There's too much clean up that has to take place afterwards.

So where should we dig holes? In the garden of course. We need to avoid dark places during times of discouragement. Come on up and out into the sunlight. Dig a hole with a purpose; plant a flower, tree or vegetable. Bury the skeleton from the basement closet. Give him a proper, Christian burial. LOL. Don't waste your energy digging holes that are not profitable to anyone.

Best of all, realize that the word discourage is more about courage .. than dissing it.  Don't let that little three letter prefix, "dis" distract you.  Focus on the larger word, "Courage". Let it stand on its own.  

Dis is simply a speed bump to courage. Slow down, move over it with respect and then go on. You have places to go and new things to do. Ask God for His roadmap. He will give you a new and useful direction, with understanding.

Choose your relationships carefully. Have you ever realized that, when another person wrongs you, a new kind of a relationship is born?

A debt is created and you EXPECT full payment from that other person who did you wrong. They OWE you an apology, or more! Right?! These “Creditor/Debtor” relationships are binding and when someone DEFAULTS by refusing to accept responsibility or even express regret, this opens the door to bitterness and resentment.

Maybe not though. Maybe you choose to just shut that door and walk away, limping maybe …. but free of an even more dangerous and harmful relationship. Bitterness and Resentment have mob ties. They answer to the God Father of them all, Fear, and they exact a severe toll for their services. Once you join up, they don’t let you go without a fight!

Tetelestai was a word used many years ago to describe a business transaction, or relationship that was completely PAID IN FULL. Jesus spoke that word on the cross when he said, “It Is Finished.” Jesus died, not only to pay your debt in full but everyone else out there who wouldn’t or couldn’t. Actually, we talk about that payment being free. It wasn’t and it still isn’t today. It comes with a cost.

Humility. That is all he asks. When we are real enough to realize that we could never do enough or be good enough to deserve the forgiveness He died to give us, then maybe we can also understand why His grace does cost us (Not what it cost Him) but it does cost us. Humility. Dying to ourselves and that part of us that wants to hate and get even.

So, He gave us that example. He died for people he had never met, who would never care or ask Him to do it. He died for others who really cared but made bad choices occasionally and needed to be reassured that they were still loved. He died for you and me and because of His death and resurrection, we are commanded and empowered to GIVE that same forgiveness that we have been given.

Why? Because bitterness alters our immune systems and makes them unable to fight for us. Bitterness takes over our thought lives and controls our focus so that we see ourselves as victims. Bitter thoughts “yank our chains”, and we, whether consciously or not, dance. Bitter thoughts seperate us from God. They replace trust with independence. We say, “Sorry God. I need to handle this my way.”

What about the Mob? What about Resentment, Bitterness and the God Father of them all, Fear? Where does Fear come in? The reason we refuse to give up the fight and turn it over to God is that we FEAR that the person who hurt us will get away without consequence. That fear gets a hold on us (it’s US it wants) not the person who we are demanding payment from.

Do yourself a favor. Humble yourself before God. Be willing to let offences, go. The damage you can do to yourself by choosing bitterness over forgiveness is far greater than the damage you can afflict on them.

If you are still carrying around that unpaid bill from many memories ago in your pocket or purse and still demanding payment today, How is that working for you? How much has it cost YOU so far in peace of mind, doctor bills, etc …

Remember the words of One who knows the pain of unresolved debt and agreed to pay it for us:

For God so loved the world He gave His only begotten Son, that who so ever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

For God sent His Son into the world, not to condemn the world but that through Him, we might be saved.

You, me …. and the folks who don’t deserve His great devotion. Oh, wait a minute. That makes all of us!

A few days ago, after following the volcanic eruptions and seismic activity in Hawaii, I was sitting here at my computer and had what I guess may have been either a vision or a revelation.  I don't know, I just felt it and saw it.

I felt GREAT anguish, mixed with great feelings of disappointment, rejection and anger. I wondered what it was and the answer came.  I was experiencing a very small part of God's pain over His people and the world today.  Then, I saw a long, dark crack open up in what appeared to be the earth's surface.  There was fire and trembling at that point.  At that moment, God thrust his own Son into that hot, molten abyss.  I didn't see Him.  I just felt the power and the force as He was thrust in.

I suddenly realized what God had done.  He had received upon Himself the awful pain of a world He created for good and called unto himself … ignoring and despising Him.  Yet, He had done the unimaginable.  He had taken the pain and anger of our betrayal directly.  He didn't pretend it wasn't there or overlook it.  Instead he experienced it in full force.  Then, instead of US meeting HIS wrath, HIS SON took our place.  At that moment, I was in awe of what I had just witnessed.

This has been on my mind for the past couple of days since I saw it.  Today, I received more.  I saw the crack in the earth once again, but it was different. I saw the Son of God triumphantly coming out of that place and it didn't even look the same. The setting this time was peaceful, serene.

I thought of History's false gods and idols whom people believed, required them to sacrifice children for appeasement.  Fear caused these parents to throw their own children into volcanos or give them up by other tragic means.  Then I thought of our own God who felt the direct pain of our sin and did something different.  He sacrificed His Own Son, on our behalf.  I saw something else too.  I saw The Son coming out of that fractured, broken earth, triumphant.  No more fire.  It had become a peaceful mountain side monument, reminding me of that place where Jesus gave one of His greatest sermons, the Sermon on the Mount.

"Let the little ones come unto me," Jesus said.  "For of such is the kingdom of heaven."  What a contrast to the false gods and idols that people at one time served who demanded child sacrifice.  Instead, God gave His own Son.  But that wasn't all.  The powers of earth and sin could not hold Him and He returned to us and then back home to His Father's side where He has made preparation for us also.  Where He is, we want to be too.  Because, that's what he wants.

When a volcano erupts, hot, red, liquid comes up from deep within the earth' core. The ground around it becomes fractured from the trauma and opens up, releasing lava flow which runs down the mountain destroying what ever it comes into contact with.  What it doesn't destroy, it takes captive, immobilizes and soon, if there is no help available, this too will be taken.

When Jesus was offered up on Calvary, blood flowed out of his body and onto the ground.  His blood offered us forgiveness, canceled our debt and set us free. The forces of earth cannot match this event.  Unlike the other, it is done in a quiet way as we transfer our sin over to God and He fills in our fractured, empty soul with Himself.  No fireworks or grand display.  Just the trading of our sorrows for His peace.

[John 17:1-5]  After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed:

“Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. ² For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. ³ Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. ⁴ I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do. ⁵ And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began."

May it be that we live in anticipation of the adventure God has for us instead of staying in the land of lament and discontentment.

This was posted on my Facebook page back in 2011 and it didn't list a source so I guess it was mine.  Just popped up and probably means more to me today than it did back then.