Praise versus encouragement … 

Everybody needs to hear a good, positive word every once and a while. What is the best way to pay a compliment or encourage a child?

 

It's easy to use common phrases like: "Good job!" or "Looking good!". At least, the recipient of your words, will have the satisfaction of knowing that their efforts haven't been in vain. Doesn't it feel good to know that somebody notices? You may not know exactly what you did right, but, who doesn't like receiving a word of praise?

Praise is good, but sometimes a little more is better. Like if, you were to catch your child doing homework and notice that their normally messy paper is neater than usual. Even a little bit counts. Comment. Comment on the thing that they are doing right.

 

You see, saying, "Good job!" will make them smile, but saying, "Look what you just did!" (That will get their attention.) "You just made all of your letters stand up straight and tall. I always knew that you were capable of making those letters stand up straight and tall! Your teacher will really like this one!" 

Then just walk away and leave them to their moment of glory. Like it's no big deal. But it was for them! Call their teacher and explain what just happened at home. Perhaps she could be on the "look out" for a similar moment where she can also express her approval.. Working together in relationship with our kid's teachers is helpful. 

So, what is it that you just accomplished that was beneficial to your child? You not only lifted their spirits and made them feel special, which is important, but you also told them what they were doing right. Now, they know what pleases you and they really do like to please.

Chances are, anybody else in the room that heard you voice your approval over (brother/sister's) skills, will start thinking. You can find ways of encouraging them too. They tend to be competitive. They will be strengthened in their own tasks and challenged by the comments you made to the others.

It's ok to point out that everybody excels in different ways. We cannot all be THE BEST at everything. What's important is that we give each task, OUR BEST efforts. That is what matters. And when we as parents tell them what they are doing right, we give our children a blue print for success. This is true encouragement.