Often, I think, Christians believe that lives are saved and changed by our judging and shunning. This is sad to me. Who would come to Christ if this was the case? Who would ever be healed or changed? Truth be told, many turn away from Christ because they don't recognize His love in us.

What would be the difference between a love that willingly caused Him to give up His own life for mankind; caused Him to hang out with folks nobody else would and write things in the sand nobody wanted to read? He put His Life where His mouth was. He didn't just draw a line, He walked it. He didn't just preach death to self, he fulfilled it.

Condemnation was not His message, breakthrough was; breaking through the guilt and condemnation barriers. Many want to change but feel powerless against the demons they face. "Forgiveness, right-standing with Christ. A righteousness we don't deserve." It's all very hard to understand but God took it all on His own shoulders first.

God is not in the hanging business. We are asked to willingly take up our own crosses and follow Him daily. Follow Him. Ours is a mobile cross. He does not ask us to "plug it in" and hang there for all to see. It is a thorn in our flesh though, a reminder of what He did for us and that we are to carry that Love forward. We should not be in the hanging business either.

Winter Watch

A sturdy white wall of clouds
  just passed by my window,
Like a train on its way to,
  Who knows where?
I sat watching and thinking ....

 Where are they going?

Now and then a patch
 Of sunny, blue sky appeared.
It was there alright,
  Sure enough!
Watching the show, same as me....

And the clouds just kept on rolling by.

Snowy branches swayed and waved.
  Wind beneath my eaves,
Howled and whistled.
  Who knows how many others
Were watching this parade?

And then, it was all over with!

The sunny blue sky stayed.
  I am sorry to say though,
The ornery north wind blew mercilessly,
  Causing my snow covered eaves to weep.
I saw it all from my seat ... 

beside the kitchen window.

In a way, for a teen to know that their parents are attending a PARENTING CLASS, it's a bit like knowing they are attending a RAT SESSION. Like, whose the rat that is going to tip them off and reveal all our secrets? Kids may feel a little intimidated or vulnerable at times. But, what if you made it fun and liberating for both parents and kids?

The best way for kids to learn self-control, discipline and independence is to be trusted with choices (within pre-set boundaries) and given a chance to show what they can do with that trust. Even given a chance to fail without condemnation and learn some valuable life lessons at the same time. 

Trust and forgiveness goes both ways. It's important to know that, ultimately in easy times and hard, we have each other's backs. We can be mad at each other, we can fail each other but in the end, our hurt feelings and disagreements are superseded by God's Word which says forgive and heal.

God is the final authority and parents must submit to His authority. Kids come under the umbrella of God's protection and authority as they show proper respect for their parents. Some teaching on how this is successfully done can be valuable.

HOW TO PARENT YOUR PARENTS would be a fun and enlightening addition to a parent's PARENTING CLASS. A little healthy competition is ok. Giving teens the opportunity to see life from another perspective. The idea that we are all learners in life … nobody is perfect all the time and we all need borders and guidelines. Adults and kids alike. Good communication in relationships make all the difference.

Then, when it is all said and done, bring the two groups together for a forum and a healthy debate based on what has just been learned. If you really want to have some fun, have the teens present the parent's side and the parent's speak up for the teens. That would probably be a hoot. It would also hopefully promote understanding on both sides and the strengthening of relationships.

All in all, it has to be stressed that whether we are adults or teens … God sets the rules. In a respectful way, we all need to be held accountable to Him. We can do this for each other. It requires great humility on the part of both.

I think that everyone's story is worth listening to.  Nobody's story should cancel out anybody else's. It's true though that what is important to you may require sacrifice from me and I may not be willing to make it. This goes in reverse too. As with politics, there is a cost for most everything. What's valuable to me, I am willing to pay for. Not so willing though to put my money where your mouth is. But, how can I expect you to pay for my ideas if I am unwilling to do the same for you? It's at this place where division gets started. But that is also where true unity can begin. Learn to listen as much as you talk. Do not demand from someone else what you are not willing to give. Hypocrisy cancels out your message. There is no greater yoke than unforgiveness. Pride keeps you from the truth and isn't truth what we should all be about? Pride and confidence are two different things. One puffs up while the other builds up. Pride is something we have to constantly feed and maintain. It is expensive but often scratches an itch on the inside of us. Confidence grows when we allow it, during times of unpredictability and pressure. Confidence seals and heals the thing on the inside of us causing the itch. Confidence is rooted in strength. Pride is rooted in weakness. Pride is a pit, easy to fall into to. Confidence is the way out.

History In The Making

Real power of the moment is found in that insignificant space of time, the small gap which exists between an event that just happened and our reaction to it.

That's a mouthful, let me try again. Stimuli plus reaction equals … your ability to think and take control of your emotions during that snippet of time, in between.

What happens next has pretty much everything to do with … what will happen next. And since you are in control, it is actually very much up to you.

History is made, in between these powerful little moments. Take control of yourself, first. People can't get to you, if you do not take their bait ...

A strong person can't be baited. They are not easily offended. They choose their fights carefully. Therefore, when they do, "enter the ring," they are ready to give it their all. Others will, by necessity, learn to take note.

Take control of yourself and others will be less likely to try challenging you!

If Truth is in the eyes of the beholder … 

Shouldn't that same beholder honor his Creator with those same eyes?

Praise versus encouragement … 

Everybody needs to hear a good, positive word every once and a while. What is the best way to pay a compliment or encourage a child?

 

It's easy to use common phrases like: "Good job!" or "Looking good!". At least, the recipient of your words, will have the satisfaction of knowing that their efforts haven't been in vain. Doesn't it feel good to know that somebody notices? You may not know exactly what you did right, but, who doesn't like receiving a word of praise?

Praise is good, but sometimes a little more is better. Like if, you were to catch your child doing homework and notice that their normally messy paper is neater than usual. Even a little bit counts. Comment. Comment on the thing that they are doing right.

 

You see, saying, "Good job!" will make them smile, but saying, "Look what you just did!" (That will get their attention.) "You just made all of your letters stand up straight and tall. I always knew that you were capable of making those letters stand up straight and tall! Your teacher will really like this one!" 

Then just walk away and leave them to their moment of glory. Like it's no big deal. But it was for them! Call their teacher and explain what just happened at home. Perhaps she could be on the "look out" for a similar moment where she can also express her approval.. Working together in relationship with our kid's teachers is helpful. 

So, what is it that you just accomplished that was beneficial to your child? You not only lifted their spirits and made them feel special, which is important, but you also told them what they were doing right. Now, they know what pleases you and they really do like to please.

Chances are, anybody else in the room that heard you voice your approval over (brother/sister's) skills, will start thinking. You can find ways of encouraging them too. They tend to be competitive. They will be strengthened in their own tasks and challenged by the comments you made to the others.

It's ok to point out that everybody excels in different ways. We cannot all be THE BEST at everything. What's important is that we give each task, OUR BEST efforts. That is what matters. And when we as parents tell them what they are doing right, we give our children a blue print for success. This is true encouragement.