Choose your relationships carefully.  Have you ever realized that, when another person wrongs you, a new kind of a relationship is born?

A debt is created and you EXPECT full payment from that other person who did you wrong They OWE you an apology, or more! Right?! These “Creditor/Debtor” relationships are binding and when someone DEFAULTS by refusing to accept responsibility or even express regret, this opens the door to bitterness and resentment.

Maybe not though. Maybe you choose to just shut that door and walk away, limping maybe …. but free of an even more dangerous and harmful relationship. Bitterness and Resentment have mob ties. They answer to the God Father of them all, Fear, and they exact a severe toll for their services. Once you join up, they don’t let you go without a fight!

Tetelestai was a word used many years ago to describe a business transaction, or relationship that was completely PAID IN FULL. Jesus spoke that word on the cross when he said, “It Is Finished.” Jesus died, not only to pay your debt in full but everyone else out there who wouldn’t or couldn’t. Actually, we talk about that payment being free. It wasn’t and it still isn’t today. It comes with a cost.

Humility. That is all he asks. When we are real enough to realize that we could never do enough or be good enough to deserve the forgiveness He died to give us, then maybe we can also understand why His grace does cost us (Not what it cost Him) but it does cost us. Humility. Dying to ourselves and that part of us that wants to hate and get even.

So, He gave us that example. He died for people he had never met, who would never care or ask Him to do it. He died for others who really cared but made bad choices occasionally and needed to be reassured that they were still loved. He died for you and me and because of His death and resurrection, we are commanded and empowered to give that same forgiveness to others, that we have been given.

Why? Because bitterness alters our immune systems and makes them unable to fight for us. Bitterness takes over our thought lives and controls our focus so that we see ourselves as victims. Bitter thoughts “yank our chains”, and we, whether consciously or not, dance. Bitter thoughts seperate us from God. They replace trust with independence. We say, “Sorry God. I need to handle this my way.”

What about the Mob ties? What about Resentment, Bitterness and the God Father of them all, Fear? Where does Fear come in? The reason we refuse to give up the fight and turn it over to God is that we FEAR that the person who hurt us will get away without consequence. That fear gets a hold on us (it’s US it wants) not the person who we are demanding payment from.

Do yourself a favor. Humble yourself before God. Be willing to let offences, go. The damage you can do to yourself by choosing bitterness over forgiveness is far greater than the damage you can afflict on them.

Are you still carrying around that unpaid bill from many memories ago in your pocket or purse, still demanding payment today?  How is that working for you? How much has it cost YOU so far in peace of mind, doctor bills, etc …

Remember the words of One who knows the pain of unresolved debt and agreed to pay it for us:

For God so loved the world He gave His only begotten Son, that who so ever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

For God sent His Son into the world, not to condemn the world but that through Him, we might be saved.

You, me …. and the folks who don’t even deserve His great devotion. Oh, wait a minute. That means us all!